duty called

Just after I returned from Jury Duty, I began writing the story of how it went...and you all know that I can get wordy. So I started the story, then put it aside. I wondered if you all would really be interested in such a detailed account, but decided that if it was so interesting to me, you would also find it as such. So I finally come back to finish it. Here's the story of my time in court:

Wednesday morning brought a beautiful drive down to the sleepy little town of St. Johns, AZ, where I reported for Jury Duty. As expected, there was a lot of waiting, a lot of boredom, and a lot of questions. The whole day (until after 6 pm) consisted merely of selecting the jury, which in this case, was a very long, extremely tedious and repetitive process. At the outset, my name, along with 25 others from a pool of at least 60, was called to sit as the potential jurors. And as the questioning began, it soon became clear that I was not going to be "excused" from the jury, as I didn't truthfully have enough "yes" answers. Finally at the end of the day, they read the names of the final 14.

I was one of them.

That meant I would be hearing the trial, which by this point sounded rather intriguing... Luckily it was also evident by now that the lawyers and judge intended to do their best to finish the trial by Thursday evening, so I headed to one of only two sketchy motels to stay over night.

Thursday morning I received my juror badge, we all raised our right hand to be sworn in and the trial commenced.

The defendant was being charged with 8 counts related to marijuana & marijuana paraphernalia, including transfer to minors. Just to give you an idea of the situation, the defendant reminded me of a cross between Blue (as in, "You're my boy, Blue" from Old School - for his crazy hair, hollow cheeks, long chin) and Mr. Burns (not so much for his evil glare, but for his bald head, beady eyes and long nose). Now, when I said before that the case sounded intriguing, I really had no idea until they began presenting the case, just how entertaining the day would be.
They, of course, brought out all the evidence. This included, for one, a large bag of weed (and I quote the State's attorney: "Now, Mr. [Burns], just to clarify for court records, when you say "weed" you are referring to marijuana, correct?"). In order for us jurors to be sure of the identity of the green leafy substance, they even pulled out some buds for us to have a closer look. I thoroughly enjoyed the paraphernalia evidence, which included a brass candle holder and wooden furniture leg. Now how might those be considered paraphernalia, you might ask? Ah, but Mr. [Burns] is resourceful. Why buy a pipe when you can make one?
The State (plaintiff in the case) went on to tell how the defendant considers himself to be in a teaching role when he shares his marijuana with minors. He teaches them proper ways to inhale (yes, they specified); he gives them vitamins (Vit. C) after smoking for them to regain their energy. Perhaps more disturbing than entertaining, when asked what age he felt is an appropriate age for someone to first use marijuana, apparently his response was that a pregnant mother would be doing her unborn child a favor by smoking marijuana. And the case went on...

Alas, the defendant himself took the stand. He readily admitted to doing all of the things that he was being charged with. He is a self-proclaimed believer in legalizing marijuana and strongly felt that the only way to change the law, since his legislature has failed him, was to plead his case to a fair jury, who would surely understand. Ironically, after all the tribulations involved with getting himself a jury trial, he really didn't even make much of a case to us. He presented us with a 20+ page letter stating his opinions on marijuana, which we by no means had to read before making our decision.

It was clear from the start that no matter what any jurors view may be on marijuana, there was no denying whether or not this guy had broken the law as it currently stands.

GUILTY on all 8 counts. bang.

Just in case you think the defendant was just some ex-hippie that wants to smoke his pot in peace...I began to realize just how crazy he is when his own attorney was questioning him. When asked what brought him to Arizona, it went something like this:
Defendant: "You see, I like making snow sculptures."
Defendant's attorney: "You're telling me you moved to Arizona from Minneapolis for the snow?"
Defendant: "Well, just last winter I made a snow dinosaur. It melted after only a day or so, but I sure enough made a dinosaur out of snow."

(I asked myself many times throughout the day, am I allowed to laugh out loud in a court of law?)